so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he quoted the bible to break up with me
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
