Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
