im having a threesome with these popsicles
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
