Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
