Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
now i know why i became what i already was.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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