never play flip cup with pint glasses
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
