If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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