mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
