They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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