Pregnant stripper...not hot.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
