u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
it was like eating out sand paper
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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