Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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