I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
