I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
