we have pet lesbian snakes
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.