So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me