I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
