He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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