Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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