its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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