It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
