i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
