Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
God, you're like boner-b-gone
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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