I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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