I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
