We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
