this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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