Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
