Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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