Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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