i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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