i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
