She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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