Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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