I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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