well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
