You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
