her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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