help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
