DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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