i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
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She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
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Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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