We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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