I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
