and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
