Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize