They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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