I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
