When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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