swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
