Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize