she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
