Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You had me at "let me see your balls"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
