end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
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get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
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It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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