They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
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the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
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Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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