i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
