There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize