omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
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Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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