You're earring is so big in my mouth
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
