I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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