I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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