Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
