Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
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Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
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You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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