There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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