Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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