I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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